grandpa's gone Home

he developed a fever again, and nursing home wanted to send him to the hospital but grandma didn't want to. nothing new, but i didn't react badly to it for once.

i talked it out with God, wondering if He was telling me that grandpa's going Home for sure this time round. felt like it was. but seemed too eerie. i even thought through how i would get the call from someone informing me of the news. how morbid.

but nothing ever really prepares one for death i think. even though the whole immediate family visited him on Monday, how the scrawniness of his arm made me wish silently God would end his suffering, even though i know he's now with God, enjoying eternity and free from pain forever, able to see and walk and speak.

the pain comes from losing a grandfather who was more like a father to me. from him not being able to physically witness my wedding, which he very much wanted to.

he's in a better place, i know. it still hurts.

thank You God, for grandpa.