As I let the words come out of my mouth upon the husband's probing regarding my tears, I know I was crying because I miss dancing, so very very much. I almost feel like inspiration has all but disappeared from within just cuz I haven't danced in such a long time. I did wonder if God had forgotten about my dreams and aspirations, but I know that deep within, that's not true. And when I look at my baby boy, I know it's worth it. *breathes out* even if I can't stand how out of shape my body is, how unfit I am, how much I long to go for dance classes, to dance in worship, to watch as many dance performances as I want to in a whim's notice.... it's worth it, even as I still tear now and then.
Self-pity? maybe... but I also know that it's part of my process of coming to terms FULLY, about this season. Because even if I could attain all my dreams and aspirations, I wouldn't be happy if I'm not loving and obeying Him. As someone wrote on FB and I quote, "I was made from Love, to love and for love."
