the big and small things

i now have 5 tiny outfits awaiting the little boy, all of which he can't wear at birth :P cuz the clothes are for 3-6months old babies. hopefully he won't be too skinny, given how much smaller my tummy is compared to other mums of similar 'time frame' and that both me and the hubby are small to begin with.

this marks the beginning of possibly spending more time shopping for my son than myself. and i'm trying to get used to the term 'my son'. heh.. while i anticipate the birth of this little fella, there're things that i'm beginning to find myself grappling with.

from wondering how much sleep i'll get at all once i pop, to breastfeeding concerns, colic worries, and having to possibly contend with mothering advice from family/friends, that already feels like A LOT. while all that are concerns that i know i need to find my own footing and style as a mum when the day comes, the other things feel more real. and i don't quite know how to think or feel about those either. for example, the next 4 months will be my last as a 'permanent' staff in the office before my days of working from home begin. i know i'll miss the open concept office space, the random laughter and camaraderie among colleagues/friends and adult conversations. all these i'll have to trade for baby talk, changing diapers, feeding my son like i'm a cow and understanding how ministry will be defined for me and for d.a.n.c.e.

for all it's worth, i'll treasure my next few months. life will never be the same again.