the measure of a man

Last night I attended the wake of the longest serving SCCC staff, Paul Sankaran, otherwise known to most of us as 'Uncle Sank'. The latter term of address actually resulted from a funny incident; some other staff started calling him 'Uncle Sank' after overhearing a colleague (John) call him that, unaware that John was Uncle Sank's nephew. They had assumed John had addressed him as 'Uncle' out of respect for an older staff member. 

So Uncle Sank went Home at the age of 82, having journeyed with his wife for a few decades and serving in full time ministry ceaselessly until his retirement last year due to health issues. As with most wakes, one awaits to hear the eulogy that would attempt to succinctly chronicle the deceased's life. There are many ways to do that, and if life were a game, there would be 3 ways to keep score, John Ortberg propositions in "It All Goes Back In The Box". 

We either compare ourselves with others, compete with others or attempt to climb over them. In comparing ourselves, we may do so via upward comparison (compare with those who are better off), lateral comparison (those at the same level) or downward comparison (those who are worse off). Doing so would breed envy, competition and arrogance, respectively. It probably appears that such comparisons are 'natural' and 'unavoidable'. In fact, if we persuade ourselves more, we might even be convinced that a little competition never hurt any one, and gives us a little motivation to do better at work. 

But really, is that really why we work our butts off, be it in the marketplace or not? Consider Ortberg's words, "One of the main reasons we are tempted to get more invested in our work than in our relationships is that in our vocations it's easier to keep score."

I'll be among the first to confess that even if no one places any pressure on me to perform in my new role as a ministry leader or to be an excellent wife [-to-be], I would still keep score.  (Now how does that work? by the loads of laundry I can wash and press? or the meals that I cook?) Why? Simply because I want to be remembered, to convince myself that I'm good enough. But, good enough for what? Honestly, I don't think I really know. 

I should learn from Reese Witherspoon, who recently starred in '4 Christmases'. Of dealing with the harsh standards placed on women in Hollywood, she says, 

It's one of those endless competitions, but it's like running a race toward nothing. There's no winning. You're never going to win the thin race. You're never going to win the pretty race. You're never going to win the smart race. You're never going to win the funny race. I just want to be the best version of myself I can be."

Or maybe, as Ortberg suggests, going by the oddest scoring system would do better-"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God,...taking the very nature of a servant."

Uncle Sank was one such person. His relentless passion to share eternity with all he came across saw him tracting at MRT stations with his wife, setting up a ministry online so that he could still reach people even though he wasn't as physically fit as before. He sowed into the lives of his children, his nephews, and to strangers. I was humbled when, last year at an office meeting, he quietly slipped away during a break after he discovered that there would be a time to honor him, for his years of dedication and service in the ministry. This was a man who did not care for attention being brought to himself; it was Jesus that mattered. 

His investment in the lives of people has, and will continue to leave a spiritual legacy. And I think, he's enjoying many a conversation with Paul, his baptism namesake.